When I first got engaged, I didn’t anticipate everyday would be a barrage of questions. It comes in phases in the beginning it’s “Can I see your ring?” “How did he proposed?” “Did you know where he bought your ring?” “How much did the ring cost?” “Why is your engagement ring a sapphire [not a diamond]?”
Following that, it’s this question: “When’s the wedding?”
Following that it’s a long, long phase of these questions:
- How is the wedding planning going?
- Where is your venue?
- How many people are you planing to invite?
- What your wedding colors?
And some of them are ridiculous:
- Are you have customized napkins?
- What kind of flowers are you centerpieces, bouquets, boutinnieres?
- Do the flowers match the wedding colors you choose?
- Are your flowers seasonal?
I kid you not, I received these questions and far more than listed. I have to answer like I’m excited and it’s the first time I heard these questions even if it’s questions I heard more than once in a day, by the same person.
During my engagement, it made me think why do we place such a large importance to wedding and the wedding planning process? Also to mention, there are a lot of celebrations around baby showers. I knew a former coworker who had three baby showers — this wasn’t for three different babies, this wasn’t for triplets — this was for one baby and it was overkill. Each baby shower was more elaborate than the last from a simple get-together with games to renting a taco truck.
Look, I am not against weddings, bridal showers, bachelor/ette parties, and baby showers. They’re fun to plan and attend but it made me think there are many people in this world that may get one or the other life moment, or maybe neither of those moments. People need to be reminded there are so many moments in life worth celebrating, which is why I create events around them. Yes, it’s quirky and it doesn’t have to be over-the-top. I think other life moments…in fact change…needs to be celebrated.
What kind of “life showers” should we throw?
Moving Showers – No, this isn’t a party where you are invited to move a shower. It’s a celebration that you’re moving whether it is to a new cities or a larger place or moving to a place where you can finally live without roommates. Those are still signficant moments towards independence and a few sacrifices, it’s a step to celebrate seeking opportunities, a new slate.
My husband and I moving to Los Angeles. Our car is packed with our stuff. Here’s to new beginnings, new job, new place. Our first place in Los Angeles was a studio apartment. It may have been small, but it was ours. No roommates. Following that, with more money, we got a bigger apartment in a better neighborhood. And following that, we bought our first house.
Getting a new job or promotion – Bonus points if it’s a step towards your career path.
Graduation – Whether it’s high school or college, it’s the next step in life. I graduated from my bachelor’s degree and in retrospect, I wish it was a bit more celebrated. In fact, I had no celebration, no proper sendoff to the real world. I mean, I already had a full-time job lined up. Isn’t that celebration-worthy enough? My boyfriend at the time had several celebrations around his graduation and no job lined up, while I went to interviews (without a car) to the weeks up to my graduation and then straight to a 40-hour work week in biotechnology.
High school graduations should also be a big celebration. If you think about it, the day after graduation, you’ve got all these options and it’s overwhelming: you go to a university, go to community college, take an apprenticeship, take a gap year and travel with limited funds, or take a job. I recalled myself and many others perceived our graduation with such indifference. For me, I wasn’t moving away from home to go to university. I was going to stay local and go to community college. At the time, I thought nothing in my life was going to change because I stayed local while all my friends were away doing exciting things. I thought no matter how much I fought my fate to get out of my town after high school, something out there was making me stay still telling me I couldn’t do it. I wish could go back in time and tell my 17-year old self how I was so wrong.
If I get in the grad school program and I finish it, I will be sure I will celebrate it right.
College graduation, 2009
Change needs to be celebrated and recognized more often. What other life moments are worth celebrating? Share below!
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